What does it mean to be On-Call?

I'll never forget a Dad looking at me after his wife, an ObGyn, had delivered their son and saying, "Wow, you're really on-call! Even she has a schedule!" I laughed because it happens all the time. The realization that I will stop whatever I am doing at whatever time I am doing it and be there for you. I think the gravity of it gets lost in the excitement of finding and booking a birth photographer, preparing for your baby's arrival and well, it gets lost because it is kind of overwhelming to think about. You are not only purchasing my artistic expertise, my childbirth experience and knowledge, my provider relationships and client experience...

You are purchasing my life.

My 24/7. At least 4 weeks of a phone charged on the ready and my every thought circling around your birth. My need for alternative plans. My holidays and my kid's birthdays. My birthday or anniversary. My plans always potentially being interrupted to serve you. 

You are purchasing my limitations. I don't drink, but if I did, my desire for wine at dinner. Or a beer at a festival. My ability to go to said festival if it is more than one hour away. My need for clear, reliable cell phone service. 

You are purchasing unlimited hours of my time. You are purchasing those hours to maybe begin at 2 am. Or 6 am. Or 10 pm. Birth photography asks your work day to begin at absolutely no set time. How much does that cost? Probably not enough, but I must decide what I can live with and pay my bills. What is affordable to all those Mama-to be's out there who want a birth photographer or doula. What missing some of my own very important moments is worth.

This is by no mean a complaint. This is just a reality. It's that time of year when I get asked about how to become a birth photographer or a doula. It's the time of year when I must reflect on pricing and all of the business stuff that eats away at creativity and slams a big financial slap across your face. 

It's the time when I get excited for all the babies coming this year. It's the time when I am thankful. It's the time when I'm off-call reflecting on what it means to be on-call and have a life and support my family. 

It means that I will get out of my warm bed for you and be there to encourage and document your journey. It means that no matter when you call me or if you call me and I go and it's not even your birthing time, I will assuage your guilt, hug you, and go back to bed. 

Because that is what we have done. I've invested in your birth. You've invested in supporting my family, having childcare I trust so I'm not stressed at your birth, and having experienced back-up if something were to happen to me. Making sure I have a reliable car and backup equipment so that nothing prevents me from documenting one of the biggest days of your life.  We've invested in each other. 

Thank you 2017

26 Beautiful Births.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Here's looking at 2018!

Why your Midwife is Not your Doula

You are so excited! You are pregnant and you know you want an experience different from all the stories you've heard growing up. You want a midwife. That is awesome. Knowing what kind of care provider you feel most comfortable with is undeniably the best thing going into birth for the first or fourth time.

And you find a midwife! It may be a group or a single home birth midwife, but it's likely a woman and you spend hour after hour of prenatal visits asking questions, forming bonds, having your needs met and considered and you are positive you will have the birth you desire.  

And then you are there in labor, at home, or at a birth center or hospital and you are with your partner and you find that labor is a little different than you had imagined. You need stuff: hands on you and lots of water, maybe food and encouragement and changing positions and you have been up for so so long and you are tired and your partner is worried and where is this baby anyway? And where is your midwife? Isn't she suppose to be here with you doing all.the.things? Is she with someone else? You sort feel abandoned or a little betrayed? Jealous even, of the mom she may be with who is having her baby while you breath hard through yet one more contraction.

Here's the thing. A midwife is not a doula. She is not a magical fairy who will give you all the things while still making sure she is alert enough to take your vitals and make sure your placenta is normal and healthy and not retained so you hemorrhage postpartum. She cannot stay with you for 36 hours and do that well. 

She is a not doula. A doula is the one who will listen to all your fears and maybe I'm in labor calls and why am I not in labor complaints. She will guide you through your birth story. She will hold your hand and wipe your brow and remember to make you go to the bathroom and drink enough water and sleep and sift your belly and make you twist and turn until you look at her with tears in your eyes and she will tell you it's almost time and that your baby will come soon. 

She will drop everything at any hour to come to you. She will spend days with you.

She will hold your leg, wipe your bottom, fan you without ceasing. She will look after your husband so that he does not pass out from either fatigue or fear. She will reassure him that you are ok and help him feel as if he is helping you. 

She will hold your face in her hands and be there. You will know that her whole spirit is with you in that moment.

Your midwife will make sure your newborn has developed properly, that all the reflexes and heart rates and things are in their place. That your baby is breathing. That you are stabilized and ready to spend your postpartum weeks snuggling your baby and healing without complication. She will do follow up exams and make sure your vagina looks just as lovely as it always did. She will make sure any tests are done on your baby and get you the proper referrals. 

Your midwife and your doula are a team. They communicate with each other and you to make sure you have your dream birth. You can have one without the other, but why would you want to?